The gift and the pain
June 2, 2008 on 10:00 pm | In Uncategorized | 4 CommentsIn my life i have asked many questions about faith and belief in God. When I was a young boy my mum would wake us up at 5:30 in the morning for our daily morning prayer. I was six years old at the time. There were days in my childhood when I would wake up wondering where my food was only to be told that the entire family was embarking on a fast that day to seek God’s face for my father’s continued employment. Certainly growing up in a place like Ghana-West Africa was far fro easy. Sometimes I wonder whether I would be a Christian today if I had been born into a family that did not practice the christian faith. Being a christian has offered me countless blessings especially considering the fact that I have been in God’s presence nearly my entire life. At my current age of 29, I have cheated death on countless occasion, survived without injury, multiple car accidents, and in my boarding school in Ghana, I survived outbreaks of cholera, measles, bilharzia and multiple bouts of malaria. Yet, being a christian has not always been a happy tale. Often times I am afflicted by deep sadness, loneliness and a general lack of happiness. My inability to participate in many social events stems from the bibles stark condemnation of acts such as drinking alcohol and basking in the company of sinners. The times in my life where I have disobeyed God by ignoring his commandments and then proceeding to do as I please are times that I look on with regret. For some Christians, punishment from God might take a while. In my case, any act of disobedience on my part is met with swift and instant punishment. Coming from a family of near fanatical Christians in times when I have found myself less than righteous I am often left with this sense of being a gap in the wall of my family’s line of christian defence. A vulnerable loop hole that the devil exploits to get back at me and the ones who love me. This intertwined destiny between my family and me is a source of relief but also desperation in the sense that I find myself unable to act in isolation. Every desire that I have must tie in with my families aspirations for me or else God does not see it through. Yes the bible warns us all in the book of Jeremiah chapter 17 verse 9 about the deceitful nature of the human heart and its corrupt desires, yet what about free will and most importantly happiness. It seems that virtually everything that gives us joy or happiness on earth is either sin in the bibles eyes or comes uncomfortably close to being regarded as such. Life experience, not just mine but others before me, suggests a pain laden aspect to having an intimate relationship with God. The examples are endless. Examine for instance Smith Wigglesworth-the apostle of faith-whose healing ministry shook Bradford, England to its very foundations. Wigglesworth was in most instances in much poorer health than those he prayed for. Spanish architect Antoni Gaudi, fasted, prayed and designed mystical buildings that earned him the title- God’s architect. Yet, he payed the price by living a difficult life that ravaged him physically until his dying day. When the end came for the great Gaudi, he managed to get himself run over by a tram, and subsequently suffered in a hospital for paupers for three whole days before taking his last breadth. Sometimes I ask: why so hard my Lord? Could there not be an easier path to greatness. Why is the hand of the lord so heavy in the lives of those he chooses to enrich with his blessing? Did Nelson Mandela really have to spend all those years of incarceration to attain his enviable status as a global icon of hope and promise?…….to be continued
Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS) | Provided by ChurchFeed Christian Information Portal